domingo, noviembre 26, 2006
Alone...
Stayed in bed all day with a cold and a headache. Barely saw anybody, spent time with no one but the cat, who came for a while to get some lovin'. Refused to go to a restaurant and ate a stupid burger instead (yuck), just so as not to leave the house. What did it all amount to? Lots of introspection and a little bit of loneliness, of course. I get the impression (which may or may not be correct) that it's been a long time since I was alone with my thoughts. (And then, like a lightning bolt, it hits me: this is only an impression, since this happens whenever I'm bored, and the last time I was bored and alone was this last Friday at work. So this is all, as always, a trick of the mind). So, did I find out a great truth about myself? Not really, of course, but some ideas came out and something has to be done about it.
Here are some:
1. I'm just a little bit terrified about the future. Work, love life, scholarly life, you name it. Though this, of course, is nothing new. I wish I could be like those people who knew what they were gonna do/wanted to do since they were born. I find myself doing too many things at once, wanting to have it all, when I know very well that it would be better to focus 100% on one thing only. But I can't.
2. For a couple of years now, I have become a Keeper of Secrets. I used to be able to tell all to my loved ones, and now there are lots of things they don't know. Many, many things I can't tell because of plain old fear...
3. Which leads to the conclusion that I'm a chicken. I used to be a heroine...
I definitely don't like staying all day in bed like this.
Stayed in bed all day with a cold and a headache. Barely saw anybody, spent time with no one but the cat, who came for a while to get some lovin'. Refused to go to a restaurant and ate a stupid burger instead (yuck), just so as not to leave the house. What did it all amount to? Lots of introspection and a little bit of loneliness, of course. I get the impression (which may or may not be correct) that it's been a long time since I was alone with my thoughts. (And then, like a lightning bolt, it hits me: this is only an impression, since this happens whenever I'm bored, and the last time I was bored and alone was this last Friday at work. So this is all, as always, a trick of the mind). So, did I find out a great truth about myself? Not really, of course, but some ideas came out and something has to be done about it.
Here are some:
1. I'm just a little bit terrified about the future. Work, love life, scholarly life, you name it. Though this, of course, is nothing new. I wish I could be like those people who knew what they were gonna do/wanted to do since they were born. I find myself doing too many things at once, wanting to have it all, when I know very well that it would be better to focus 100% on one thing only. But I can't.
2. For a couple of years now, I have become a Keeper of Secrets. I used to be able to tell all to my loved ones, and now there are lots of things they don't know. Many, many things I can't tell because of plain old fear...
3. Which leads to the conclusion that I'm a chicken. I used to be a heroine...
I definitely don't like staying all day in bed like this.
Comments:
Uf, es problema de tantos el no poder concentrarse en una sola cosa. ¿Será el eje del mal nintendo-internet? No creo: el dilema es ya muy viejo. Pero, más que TDQ, la solución es un dolac 500 mg y un coyotito de 24 horas.
Un saludo, Gabriel.
Un saludo, Gabriel.
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