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domingo, julio 08, 2007

The Faerie Menace


My weird contact with supernatural forces is still ongoing. I think faeries have invaded my house. The evidence? All the small, pesky disappearances and annoyances usually recognized as faerie mischief--maybe it's a Puck. It also started to happen right after Midsummer.

These are all the things I'm blaming on mischievous faeries, as of today:

Lost:
Two earrings--different ones, of course, which translates into two useless un-paired earrings lying about
Eyeshadow
Pincers
A lipstick (my favourite, of course)
My mom's iPod

Ruined:
5 liters of curdled milk
One shrunk sweater
My mom's mobile phone fell in the toilet and doesn't work anymore
My car has 1000 unknown problems and is now being checked
Runs in all stockings, even new ones

Oh well... I don't think I will take any action against them (no horseshoes, no bells, no clothes inside out). After all, as they say, "the art of losing isn't hard to master."

Comments:
Chonks....

"Mischievous" I like that word.

Siempre se pierden los aretes son bastante escurridizos.

Un abrazo y por cierto...

CONGRATS!!!!
 
"The art of losing isn't hard to master" jajajaja, esas palabras retumban ahora en mi cabeza, pero en la voz de Claudia Lucotti, jamás saldrán de mi mente.

Sip, las hadas son muy traviesas, pero apoyo eso de no sacarlas ni agredirlas, uno nunca sabe cuando puedan ser de utilidad.
 
Que tal eh!
Un bonche (ultimamente me encanta esa palabra) de cosas raras, que bueno que no son bromas malignas, asi se les puede ver el lado divertido. Puedes creer que desde que llegué a Toronto no se me ha perdido ni un calcetín, que raro no, o aquí no hay creaturas extrañas a lo mejor aquí su trabajo es encontrar las cosas perdidas y te las regresan o algo así. El DF parece ser el mejor lugar para esos encuentros, como a una amiga que una vez le aparecieron 2 billetes de 500 pesos en su coche. Uno un día, uno un par de días después. Hasta a mi me tocó la buena suerte porque me invitó a comer ja!
Beso y abrazo
 
I think it's a goblin.
 
They're trying to make a point.
 
Any clue as to what that point might be?
 
Let's see:

1) Earrings and the eye shadow: you are neither hearing nor seeing adequately. You are not paying attention. Clearly, the faerie is trying to do you a favor by pointing out your receptive senses.

2)Pincers. Could this be more obvious? We're talking details here. Small things. Small, shiny things. Small, rocky, shiny things. Things you can only hold with pincers. Now you know the faerie's next step.

3)Lipstick. Well. No physical contact whatsoever while you rethink your priorities. Pretty please.

4)Your car: what's more, you shouldn't leave your house. Call in sick, get hold of a DVD, warm cup of chocolate...

5)Your mom's iPod and mobile phone: Clearly you are not the only one who needs to pay more attention. I wouldn't be surprised if q-tips appeared all over your house. Faeries can be quite obnoxious with their passive-aggressive pointers.

6)One shrunk sweater. It was a female faerie, and she was cold. You should be flattered, faeries have jolly good taste.

7)The milk. You lost me there.

You are clearly dealing with a freudian faerie. I can tell you that.
My sources tell me, however, that faeries-for-hire have been known to raise hell in certain households for small sums. Usually paid by platonic would-be lovers that cannot handle certain situations (Dante Alighieri was known for sending such faeries to Beatrice Portinari, by recommendation of Petrarch, who in turn did such a thing to a certain Laura).

In any case, it is the worm-in-the-stomach scenario, and not the satanic-lover one. I can tell you that, from experience.
 
7)I forgot the stockings. A palpable but obscure fetish (This is no place for an erotic joke such as "stairway to heaven", It would be ghastly to expose such lewd taste in humour). Besides, we already concluded it is a "she-faerie" we're dealing with.

The correct interpretation of such transgression depends on the classification of such stockings. Were they garters? fishnet stockings? Knee-highs? Thigh-Highs? wool? silk? cotton?

And yes, I agree. You shouldn't allow this comment to be published.
 
Wow scary! So I guess my little attempt last night to appease the faerie with a bit of milk will probably not work. Maybe a cookie would be better? (cookies are irresistible!)

Oh and as you can see, I published it. I only screen insulting comments, or would if they happened. Fortunately they haven't so far.

So an update is in order:

1) One of the earrings is found. Not the eyeshadow and the cooler earring, though. Could this also be a sign that I should not try to look pretty?

2) OH OH!!!!!! GULP

3) Lipstick was found. Never remember to use it, though.

4) My car is ok now, after having to pay a LARGE sum of money. The other car got a flat! And my car keys disappeared for 2 days.
And good idea, I don't want to leave the house lately. I wonder if a Faerie Warning is a valid excuse for not going to work. And I wonder if my extra sleepiness is also the fault of the faerie... Maybe it sleeps on my eyelids.

5) I guess A.D.D. runs in the family!

6) Ok, I'm flattered and don't mind if a faerie wears my clothes.

7) Maybe it means a) I should drink a lot of milk, quickly, so it doesn't spoil or b) I should never drink milk again. Ironically my mom is always telling me I should drink milk.

7.2) The stockings were not really sexy, I'm sorry to say. Just usual, run-of-the-mill, pink cotton ballet tights.

So how to appease the Dante/Petrarch wormy person?
 
[...]Or ho perduta tutta mia baldanza,
Che si movea d'amoroso tesoro;
Ond'io pover dimoro,
In guisa che di dir mi ven dottanza,
Sì che volendo far come coloro
Che per vergogna celan lor mancanza,
Di fuor mostro allegranza,
E dentro da lo core struggo e ploro.

however, the anima was quite tardi and its vita nuova ha prendito altra road.

ehem... so I'm told.
You wanted to know if there were persons with wormy-feelings in their stomachs.
Now you know (and just about everybody who happens to stumble upon this).
 

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