viernes, marzo 21, 2008
Men and women can't be friends
(at least some can't)
I feel so grown-up now because I understand it. As if some Secret of the Universe had been revealed. It will probably be no surprise to anyone, though:
There are circumstances when it is impossible to maintain a friendship (at least an active friendship) with a member of the opposite sex, such as:
1. (This is new to me) When he gets married, and he always liked you (such a femme fatale, you), and you both knew it, and his wife probably knows it too, and his parents absolutely love you, so you see him, the married man, and he is all uncomfortable around you, and none of the friendly gestures are there any more (and incidentally he not only didn't invite you to the wedding, he failed to tell you about it). And you were very good friends once. No more dancing together, even if you would never in a million years think of hitting on him. Casualties so far: 1
2. When the relationship's axis was sexual tension and/or attraction, expressed or unexpressed, and the axis is eliminated. The interesting guy/girl and the fun you had (verbal repartee etc.) falls suddenly flat and now you bore each other, or have nothing to talk about. Casualties so far: a few exes and not-exes, and ex-futures.
3. When he gets a jealous girlfriend who doesn't like him to be friends with you. (Because, of course, you are such a femme fatale). Casualties so far: 3 but one of them has been restored.
4. When he went out with your sister and she broke his heart (femmes fatales, all of us!) so "It hurts him to see you because you remind him of her". Casualties so far: 1 (Regretted less because no one wants such a drama queen as a friend anyway).
5. When he hits on you and you reject him. Casualties so far: ? but often, these are actually the ones that become your friends later on, so this balance is positive.
6. When your boyfriend doesn't like him and doesn't want you to see him (inverse 3). Casualties so far: none. He trusts me!!! (yay)
7 +. You can add more if you like.
So for the Lost, a sigh: I will miss you always. For the ones Not-Lost and the ones Regained: I'm glad you're here. Stay around.
But see? I am very zen and I don't get mad at these people any more. I just put it down to Life and History.
(at least some can't)
I feel so grown-up now because I understand it. As if some Secret of the Universe had been revealed. It will probably be no surprise to anyone, though:
There are circumstances when it is impossible to maintain a friendship (at least an active friendship) with a member of the opposite sex, such as:
1. (This is new to me) When he gets married, and he always liked you (such a femme fatale, you), and you both knew it, and his wife probably knows it too, and his parents absolutely love you, so you see him, the married man, and he is all uncomfortable around you, and none of the friendly gestures are there any more (and incidentally he not only didn't invite you to the wedding, he failed to tell you about it). And you were very good friends once. No more dancing together, even if you would never in a million years think of hitting on him. Casualties so far: 1
2. When the relationship's axis was sexual tension and/or attraction, expressed or unexpressed, and the axis is eliminated. The interesting guy/girl and the fun you had (verbal repartee etc.) falls suddenly flat and now you bore each other, or have nothing to talk about. Casualties so far: a few exes and not-exes, and ex-futures.
3. When he gets a jealous girlfriend who doesn't like him to be friends with you. (Because, of course, you are such a femme fatale). Casualties so far: 3 but one of them has been restored.
4. When he went out with your sister and she broke his heart (femmes fatales, all of us!) so "It hurts him to see you because you remind him of her". Casualties so far: 1 (Regretted less because no one wants such a drama queen as a friend anyway).
5. When he hits on you and you reject him. Casualties so far: ? but often, these are actually the ones that become your friends later on, so this balance is positive.
6. When your boyfriend doesn't like him and doesn't want you to see him (inverse 3). Casualties so far: none. He trusts me!!! (yay)
7 +. You can add more if you like.
So for the Lost, a sigh: I will miss you always. For the ones Not-Lost and the ones Regained: I'm glad you're here. Stay around.
But see? I am very zen and I don't get mad at these people any more. I just put it down to Life and History.
Etiquetas: ghost friends, losing, loves, reglas de la vida que saco de cosas que me han pasado una vez
Comments:
I have another one: When friends are jealous of, and thus hate, the new boy/girlfriend.
Casualties: I've lost count.
Casualties: I've lost count.
Qué extraño. Me queda claro que las mujeres are totally oblivious to what they do to us.
Nunca me he conformado con ser amigo de las que me han rechazado. Pero sí he quedado como amigo de algunas de las que me han dejado.
En general, me quedo con lo que pensaba Nietzsche (sólo es posible la amistad entre hombre y mujer si no se gustan físicamente), o, lo que es lo mismo, lo que pensaba Harry en When Harry Met Sally. Qué mejor ejemplo que esa movie.
P.S. Tampoco entendí cómo puede ser que tu novio "confíe en tí" si te pide que no veas a un amigo que a él no le cae bien... además de que, confíe en tí o no, ¿con qué derecho te pide que no veas a alguien, le caiga bien o no?
Nunca me he conformado con ser amigo de las que me han rechazado. Pero sí he quedado como amigo de algunas de las que me han dejado.
En general, me quedo con lo que pensaba Nietzsche (sólo es posible la amistad entre hombre y mujer si no se gustan físicamente), o, lo que es lo mismo, lo que pensaba Harry en When Harry Met Sally. Qué mejor ejemplo que esa movie.
P.S. Tampoco entendí cómo puede ser que tu novio "confíe en tí" si te pide que no veas a un amigo que a él no le cae bien... además de que, confíe en tí o no, ¿con qué derecho te pide que no veas a alguien, le caiga bien o no?
# posted by 
: 6:33 p.m.
: 6:33 p.m.
Ah, qué wey, ya entendí. Como sí confía en tí, entonces esta situación no te ha pasado... ya. Sorry. Duh!
# posted by : 6:37 p.m.
: 6:37 p.m.
Eli: Claro! Se me olvidaba!!! Buen punto.
JJ: Emm, cada quien se pone en la categoría que quiere. Pero faltan categorías en las que entran los que sí son mis amigos! Tal vez en otro post.
Er: Yo creo que tampoco los hombres se dan cuenta de lo que nos hacen a nosotras!! Nos vuelven locas!! (corriendo en círculos con las manos en el aire--locas en buena y mala forma)
Y sí, exacto, estoy de acuerdo con Harry.
Besos a todos!!!!
JJ: Emm, cada quien se pone en la categoría que quiere. Pero faltan categorías en las que entran los que sí son mis amigos! Tal vez en otro post.
Er: Yo creo que tampoco los hombres se dan cuenta de lo que nos hacen a nosotras!! Nos vuelven locas!! (corriendo en círculos con las manos en el aire--locas en buena y mala forma)
Y sí, exacto, estoy de acuerdo con Harry.
Besos a todos!!!!
Publicar un comentario