domingo, noviembre 26, 2006
Alone...
Stayed in bed all day with a cold and a headache. Barely saw anybody, spent time with no one but the cat, who came for a while to get some lovin'. Refused to go to a restaurant and ate a stupid burger instead (yuck), just so as not to leave the house. What did it all amount to? Lots of introspection and a little bit of loneliness, of course. I get the impression (which may or may not be correct) that it's been a long time since I was alone with my thoughts. (And then, like a lightning bolt, it hits me: this is only an impression, since this happens whenever I'm bored, and the last time I was bored and alone was this last Friday at work. So this is all, as always, a trick of the mind). So, did I find out a great truth about myself? Not really, of course, but some ideas came out and something has to be done about it.
Here are some:
1. I'm just a little bit terrified about the future. Work, love life, scholarly life, you name it. Though this, of course, is nothing new. I wish I could be like those people who knew what they were gonna do/wanted to do since they were born. I find myself doing too many things at once, wanting to have it all, when I know very well that it would be better to focus 100% on one thing only. But I can't.
2. For a couple of years now, I have become a Keeper of Secrets. I used to be able to tell all to my loved ones, and now there are lots of things they don't know. Many, many things I can't tell because of plain old fear...
3. Which leads to the conclusion that I'm a chicken. I used to be a heroine...
I definitely don't like staying all day in bed like this.
Stayed in bed all day with a cold and a headache. Barely saw anybody, spent time with no one but the cat, who came for a while to get some lovin'. Refused to go to a restaurant and ate a stupid burger instead (yuck), just so as not to leave the house. What did it all amount to? Lots of introspection and a little bit of loneliness, of course. I get the impression (which may or may not be correct) that it's been a long time since I was alone with my thoughts. (And then, like a lightning bolt, it hits me: this is only an impression, since this happens whenever I'm bored, and the last time I was bored and alone was this last Friday at work. So this is all, as always, a trick of the mind). So, did I find out a great truth about myself? Not really, of course, but some ideas came out and something has to be done about it.
Here are some:
1. I'm just a little bit terrified about the future. Work, love life, scholarly life, you name it. Though this, of course, is nothing new. I wish I could be like those people who knew what they were gonna do/wanted to do since they were born. I find myself doing too many things at once, wanting to have it all, when I know very well that it would be better to focus 100% on one thing only. But I can't.
2. For a couple of years now, I have become a Keeper of Secrets. I used to be able to tell all to my loved ones, and now there are lots of things they don't know. Many, many things I can't tell because of plain old fear...
3. Which leads to the conclusion that I'm a chicken. I used to be a heroine...
I definitely don't like staying all day in bed like this.
martes, noviembre 21, 2006
Commercial!
I know, I know. It is quite late and therefore not an effective marketing strategy. But, in case you just happen to read this before you go to school tomorrow (yes, English Army, I'm talking to you):
Go to the presentation of the five Canadian authors!!! (Wed., 11 am, Salon de Actos). And, if you're interested, bring some money. There will be books for sale, both in translation and in the original, thanks to yours truly and 10,000 phone calls. So get a copy, and get it signed!!!
If you're too late when you read this, I'm honestly very sorry. I know I should have done this before.
Anyway, hope you enjoy it!!
I know, I know. It is quite late and therefore not an effective marketing strategy. But, in case you just happen to read this before you go to school tomorrow (yes, English Army, I'm talking to you):
Go to the presentation of the five Canadian authors!!! (Wed., 11 am, Salon de Actos). And, if you're interested, bring some money. There will be books for sale, both in translation and in the original, thanks to yours truly and 10,000 phone calls. So get a copy, and get it signed!!!
If you're too late when you read this, I'm honestly very sorry. I know I should have done this before.
Anyway, hope you enjoy it!!
lunes, noviembre 13, 2006
Crisis
Last night I had a nice dream. It involved a fox with extra soft hair (not tame, but you know how it is with foxes, cf. Le Petit Prince), LOTS of fireworks and city lights, and... buying socks (you'd be amazed at the variety I came up with!). But then, once more, the alarm clock. zzzzzz It was a cold morning to get up in, and a slow long day to live through. I clockwatched all through work (bleah), then went off to dance class (great as always, ending with some very bouncy jumps), and came home to... FATE which has finally overtaken me. I'm desperately trying to name my thesis. I thought once it was finished it would be a cinch, and it turns out that the perfect balance between informative/not dangerous or too vague is quite difficult to find. Now I'm feeling quite grumpy since I can't get it right and if I don't do that soon everything will... well, slow down considerably. Not that I'm really looking forward to the whole process. GRRR I need some inspiration!
Last night I had a nice dream. It involved a fox with extra soft hair (not tame, but you know how it is with foxes, cf. Le Petit Prince), LOTS of fireworks and city lights, and... buying socks (you'd be amazed at the variety I came up with!). But then, once more, the alarm clock. zzzzzz It was a cold morning to get up in, and a slow long day to live through. I clockwatched all through work (bleah), then went off to dance class (great as always, ending with some very bouncy jumps), and came home to... FATE which has finally overtaken me. I'm desperately trying to name my thesis. I thought once it was finished it would be a cinch, and it turns out that the perfect balance between informative/not dangerous or too vague is quite difficult to find. Now I'm feeling quite grumpy since I can't get it right and if I don't do that soon everything will... well, slow down considerably. Not that I'm really looking forward to the whole process. GRRR I need some inspiration!
jueves, noviembre 09, 2006
Join the club!
PS Wish me luck for tomorrow (yes, I'm ready now).
sábado, noviembre 04, 2006
I'm back to normal!
and normal is...
Relatively cheerful
Un-blued
Completely distracted; I missed an appointment today because I forgot it!
Quite anxious, as I have, as always, bitten off more than I can chew and now have work overload and only one day--today--to get it done, and very little will to do it.
Such is life! Next week, however, I will probably be FREE!
Big-bad wolf things, coming relatively soon:
PCA conference. My paper was accepted!
Comparative Literature Conference and IASPM International conference. Haven't heard from them yet.
Professional exam for Jedi Master's Degree. My thesis is ready to go to the next reader! (4 readers to go--still don't know who they are).
Smaller-wolf-things:
Internal conference of the Seminario de Semiología Musical, this Friday. NOT ready.
Bleahhh. What I would like is to go to sleep.
and normal is...
Relatively cheerful
Un-blued
Completely distracted; I missed an appointment today because I forgot it!
Quite anxious, as I have, as always, bitten off more than I can chew and now have work overload and only one day--today--to get it done, and very little will to do it.
Such is life! Next week, however, I will probably be FREE!
Big-bad wolf things, coming relatively soon:
PCA conference. My paper was accepted!
Comparative Literature Conference and IASPM International conference. Haven't heard from them yet.
Professional exam for Jedi Master's Degree. My thesis is ready to go to the next reader! (4 readers to go--still don't know who they are).
Smaller-wolf-things:
Internal conference of the Seminario de Semiología Musical, this Friday. NOT ready.
Bleahhh. What I would like is to go to sleep.
jueves, noviembre 02, 2006
Damn. I've got a severe and sudden case of the
How utterly cliché.
How utterly cliché.
